10 Dinner Party Rules to Host By
From a type-A Virgo who serves room-temp chicken, pours budget wine, and swears mismatched tableware is chic.
Welcome! You’re At Isabelle’s—home to all things tasteful and tasty.
Maybe it’s my type-A Virgo brain, but the idea of “casually” hosting feels mythical to me. Inviting people into your home and cooking from scratch takes effort! Sure, you can lighten the load: keep the guest list small, make it a potluck (hello, cookbook club!), order pizza, or grab a rotisserie chicken and focus on sides. Today, though, I’m talking about the all-out dinner party, the one with a beautiful table, a larger crowd, and a three-course, entirely-from-scratch menu. That’s the lane I know best. I began hosting regularly in 2022, and what started as occasional gatherings has grown into a monthly affair that doubles as part of my work as a creator. After plenty of trial and error, I’ve compiled 10 of my favourite tips in hopes that they will help you too.
1. There’s always a theme
Ground-breaking, right? I’m hardly the first to love a themed party, and I will not be the last. But I love that a theme provides a framework to build a menu around; the added constraints push you to be more creative. Hosting, even casually, requires effort. You invest time, thought, and money into an evening, so setting a theme highlights that intention. Picture a friend texting, “Want to come over for dinner?” Lovely. But now imagine: “Friday is an East-Coast Hamptons vibe, wear all white!” It feels like we’re making a night out of something and gives everyone an extra reason to get excited. Life is busy, and I am all for making the most of every gathering.
2. Keep it thrifty
My mom sparked my obsession with white tableware when I was a kid. I started thrifting plates and platters long before I had my own place. Thrift stores are still my favourite source: affordable, full of character, and far more interesting than brand-new sets. If you’re just starting out, build a foundation of white dishes and serving pieces—you’ll use them constantly—then layer in silver, colour, glass, or quirky vintage finds over time.
3. Mix ‘n’ Match is welcome
One downside of thrifting is that sets of eight are elusive; I didn’t own eight matching wine glasses until this year. Storage space is tight in apartments, too. The solution is to mix and match. With a neutral base of plates, glasses, and linens, choose one element to vary—two napkin styles, different appetizer plates, mismatched wine glasses. Stick to a colour palette and balance the wild cards with plenty of neutrals so the table looks intentional, not random.
4. NO CUTTING BOARDS ALLOWED
When I plan my menu and prep list, I set one rule: no cutting boards once guests arrive (translation: no real cooking). Even chopping parsley for a garnish is off-limits. I want to be with my friends, not tied to the stove. Almost every dish gets prepped ahead. Some, like my beloved green grains, can be fully cooked and plated in advance. For salads, I store the greens, vinaigrette, and toppings separately, tossing them right before serving. Roasted veggies get cooked earlier, stay on the sheet tray, then pop into the oven about twenty minutes before we eat so they’re warm for serving. When people walk through the door, my job is assembling, not cooking.
5. Food does not need to be hot
Not to be dramatic, but Alison Roman changed my life with this one. I remember flipping through Nothing Fancy and coming across a chicken recipe that said the bird could be roasted a few hours ahead, tented with foil, and served at room temperature. Realizing that food does not need to be piping hot is LIBERATING. Yes, some things just must be served hot, like mussels in broth or roasted bone marrow (kinda niche picks, but that’s all that’s coming to mind), but even that just shows that so many things are just as good (or even better) at room temperature or chilled. I limit myself to one, maybe two, hot items per party.
6. Know who carries
You know those friends who are super chatty, outgoing, maybe even a little loud? I call them my carriers, and they can make or break the party. As the host you want everyone to feel comfortable, but you’ll inevitably duck into the kitchen now and then. Carriers keep the energy up, draw quieter guests in, and fill the room with laughter.
7. Music can make or break the vibe
I often forget to plan the playlist and kick myself every time. I envy friends with impeccable taste who always have something queued. Music should fade into the background yet stay upbeat enough to lift the mood. I set it slightly louder so it nudges people to speak up, loosen up, and laugh louder.
8. Keep the drinks cheap
Hot take: a big dinner party isn’t the time to open your star bottles unless wine itself is the focus. Amid conversation, music, and multiple dishes, the dinner wine often goes unnoticed. Save that funky orange wine for a date night in or proper wine night with friends, enjoyed over snack plates of bread, meats, and pickles. Pour budget-friendly but tasty bottles for your more food-focused dinner parties.
9. Don’t forget the Ice
Buy as many bags as your freezer can handle. You will use them all.
10. Dishes before bed
I am always very tired after a dinner party. But do you know when I feel even more tired? The day after. And there is nothing worse than trying to clean food off plates that have crusted overnight.
I always try to do all the dishes before I go to bed. I make sure the dishwasher is empty before everyone arrives, and then, after we have the main meal, I ask everyone to bring their plates into the kitchen. I quickly scrape them clean (although they usually offer to do this!) and load the plates, some glassware, and the utensils into the dishwasher. I run it while I am serving desserts and we are having tea and chatting. That way, when everyone leaves, the dishwasher has finished, I can put everything away, store any leftovers, and reload before bed.
That’s all for now! May your dinner parties be full of delicious food, laughter that leaves you sore, and a dishwasher that works overtime. I’ll see you next time At Isabelle’s.
My dinner party rule is the first one to stand up from the table has to do the dishes
Love this ty for sharing. I love hosting but this has given me some fresh inspiration 💕